Cherry Tarts

A few years ago I was reading with a group of fifth grade boys. We were reading "A Year Down Yonder" by Richard Peck. Having read several of his books, I think he really writes for adults, his stories are LOL funny. Anyway, in our little reading group, we took turns reading. I sometimes planned my turn so that I would read the more difficult passages. On this particular day I chose to read a passage that I thought would be difficult for the boys to understand.

..."Word will have reached you about poor Mrs. Vottsmeier over at Bement."
"Will it?" Grandma said.
Mrs. Weidenbach clutched the chair back and leaned nearer. "The Change," she said.
"If she's thinkin' about making a change, who could blame her?" said Grandma. "Vottsmeier is no prize."
Mrs. Weidenbach rested her eyes. "I mean the Change of Life." She tried not to notice me nearby.
"Hitting her hard, is it?" Grandma inquired without interest.
Mrs. Weidenbach clutched her own furry bosom and reeled. "The night sweats! The hot flashes! Of course it's nothing to what I suffered, but..."
Still, I wouldn't go away. I was just off her elbow. And she was coming to the best part. Her voice fell. "And her womb dropped."
"Do tell," Grandma said. "How far?"
"She says it feels like it hit the floor." Mrs. Weidenbach gave me a cold shoulder because I was sticking like Grandma's glue."But as you know, I never gossip."
Grandma lurched in surprise. Coffee jumped out of her cup.
"All I am saying is Mrs. Vottsmeier is out of the running."
A dreadful vision of Mrs. Vottsmeier trying to run with some of her insides bouncing on the floor almost sent me reeling.
"And so we are up a gum stump about our Washington's Birthday tea. It's our sacred tradition to serve cherry tarts to honor General Washington. And as the world knows, there is nobody to tough Mrs. Vottsmeier for her cherry tarts." Mrs. Weidenbach's eyes snapped. "She is a plain woman, but there is poetry in her pastry."

I am sure you can see what I mean about LOL. After reading this part of the story, I hesitated. One little fellow said, "I have a question." I braced myself for inquiries like; What is the Change of Life? What are hot flashes? What is a womb? What is a furry bosom?
I wasn't quite sure how I was going to explain some of those things, I don't even know what a furry bosom is. I knew I did not want to go into much detail about any of this.
Finally I said, "What is your question, Zach?"
He replied, "What are cherry tarts?"

Oh! How Boring!

I know I have been very lax in keeping up my blogs, especially this one. I started it in a class where I learned how to blog and I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to learn. However, I don't want this to be a boring blog. It could be informative, but I get all my good ideas from others...so I am going to try my best to make it an amusing blog. Sometimes very funny things happen at junior high schools. So I will try to share some amusing stories with you. (All names will be changed to protect the identity of the innocent and the guilty!)